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Track appears on an upcoming EP and is available courtesy of Long Knives.

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Long Knives - Unwelcome Guest

I came out when I was 13 years old and did not feel comfortable in my own house that I lived in. Being young, I was confused and had nowhere to turn. I'm lucky that I always used music as a outlet to deal with my depression. It took time for my parents, mostly my mother, to accept that I am who I am and I wasn't going to change. I am very grateful to have parents that are supportive and understanding now. In 2014, I had to move out of the house I was currently living in in Oakland and moved into a relatives' home in Daly City because I had nowhere to live at the moment. I'm originally from New Jersey so moving back home was not an option for me when I already had a life out here. I was fortunate to have a place to stay, but it was very triggering for me. My relatives are Christian and Jehovah Witnesses - enough said. I had to hide my identity and these memories of when I was a teenager came back and haunted me. It killed me that I couldn't be myself and to hide my identity made my anxiety and depression worse. This is what led me to write "Unwelcome Guest." I did move out of there as soon as I could - I consider that the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I could go on and on about this topic and know that there are people out there that can relate. It does get better, though. You just have to move forward and remind yourself that you deserve to be happy, too. - Kristia Moya, Long Knives

I have come here to rest
But when I awake I'll look for an exit
I remember this feeling
And it fucking haunts me
It won't be easy to digest
Because I know what will happen next

But I'm stuck
With no luck
I am stuck and with no luck

I am an unwelcome guest
It is written across my chest

Years of longing for acceptance
And now I'm back at where I started
If I had it all, I would've parted
But the past month has left me empty-hearted

I'm stuck
I am stuck and with no luck

I am an unwelcome guest
It is written across my chest

credits

from To Show That You're Still Here: A Benefit Compilation for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, released February 24, 2015

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To Show That You're Still Here Compilation Flemington, New Jersey

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