To Show That You're Still Here: A Benefit Compilation for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

by To Show That You're Still Here Compilation

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To Show You're Still Here is an eclectic collection of artists from across the DIY spectrum dedicated to raising awareness for Americans for Suicide Prevention. The digital benefit compilation features new or exclusive tracks by bands such as By Surprise, Casual, Mulligrub, free cake for every creature, Leaky Soups, Crow Bait, and Secret Plot To Destroy The Entire Universe, as well as songs by stalwarts such as The Hotelier, Beach Slang, Banquets, Cayetana, Old Flings and many more.

All proceeds from the sale of this release will benefit Americans For Suicide Prevention, an organization dedicated to prevention, understanding, education, and advocacy for people coping with depression and other mental illness and their families.


released February 24, 2015

Special thanks to all of the artists and their labels, Emily Hakes for PR, JP Flexner for doing the album art, and everyone who donates. We couldn't have done this without all of you.

- Paul



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Track Name: Cayetana - Busy Brain
Throughout my life, just the word 'suicide' carried so much weight, and many different dimensions to me. I lost my father to suicide, and it's taken me years to try to understand, and to wrap my head around it. In my younger years, I fostered a lot of feelings of anger and contempt towards him. I saw first hand what happens when you make a choice that absolute. The wreckage that was left behind was monumental, and still is.

As I got older, I've suffered with, and continue to deal with, my own issues with depression and anxiety, and I began to understand the hopelessness one could feel that might lead them to thinking suicide is an answer.

The truth is, my life would have been completely different if he was here. Maybe I would have been able to talk to him about my own depression, and had someone who could relate. Maybe my mother would be happier, and would not always have to wake up with that weight on her shoulders everyday. Unfortunately that never got to happen. The one and only lesson my father taught me is that I would never think of suicide as an answer. There are always people that care. There are always things in this life that can make you feel better. We all have our dark days, but they always get light again.

If there was one thing in the world I would change, it would be that. I wish I could show him that. I wish I could tell him this. The truth is, there is help out there. I know how scary and shameful it is to admit that you're not okay, and to have to do that horrid google search late at night looking for help. That's okay, we've all been there. There is a lot of power in admitting that you just don't feel right, and that will never define you. Let your strength define you. Let your passions define you. Everyday that you wake up and feel like you just cant get out of bed, just do it, and let that define you. - Augusta Koch, Cayetana
Track Name: free cake for every creature - Common Girl
it's raining again
still don't own an umbrella
get on the trolly
and eat toast with people i don't know

listen to your songs
and try to understand them
my mind is clouded, though
i couldn't sleep again

oh, i know,
that it's a common problem
maybe i'm a common girl
after all

we are working people now
spend eight hours away from our lives
when i return to mine
you've just left yours

when i feel alone
i put down my book
and re-read your note
i want you to know
how much it means to me

when i'm afraid
this love bends, but you don't let it break
honey, partner, person, friend
you unbound me
Track Name: No Summer - ...In Technicolor
If you're listening to this record, chances are you're one of the special people with your heart on your sleeve, always ready to believe in the good in the world, in yourself, and in others. The huge danger is that sometimes that same world and the same people in it can break your heart and make you feel helpless.

That's how we found this music in the first place. We are different. We are the ones who pride ourselves in walking the line of total madness, living only in the moment, every day in reckless abandon. It is a beautiful way to live. The songs on this compilation celebrate just that. But still, with soaring highs, there are also crushing lows.

The culture we created through these songs and this way of life means we are connected. It means we will get each other through. It means we will not allow any one of our own to fall victim to terrible tragedy.

If you or someone you know feels completely alone, please know you are not. We are alone together. The world is broken in endless ways. So are we. That is okay. The people that battle with what we are fighting are the same ones that make it a better place to live in. We need you. Please be there for them and also know we are here for you. Please keep fighting, Please don't give up. - Spencer Dorsey, No Summer
Track Name: Long Knives - Unwelcome Guest
Long Knives - Unwelcome Guest

I came out when I was 13 years old and did not feel comfortable in my own house that I lived in. Being young, I was confused and had nowhere to turn. I'm lucky that I always used music as a outlet to deal with my depression. It took time for my parents, mostly my mother, to accept that I am who I am and I wasn't going to change. I am very grateful to have parents that are supportive and understanding now. In 2014, I had to move out of the house I was currently living in in Oakland and moved into a relatives' home in Daly City because I had nowhere to live at the moment. I'm originally from New Jersey so moving back home was not an option for me when I already had a life out here. I was fortunate to have a place to stay, but it was very triggering for me. My relatives are Christian and Jehovah Witnesses - enough said. I had to hide my identity and these memories of when I was a teenager came back and haunted me. It killed me that I couldn't be myself and to hide my identity made my anxiety and depression worse. This is what led me to write "Unwelcome Guest." I did move out of there as soon as I could - I consider that the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I could go on and on about this topic and know that there are people out there that can relate. It does get better, though. You just have to move forward and remind yourself that you deserve to be happy, too. - Kristia Moya, Long Knives

I have come here to rest
But when I awake I'll look for an exit
I remember this feeling
And it fucking haunts me
It won't be easy to digest
Because I know what will happen next

But I'm stuck
With no luck
I am stuck and with no luck

I am an unwelcome guest
It is written across my chest

Years of longing for acceptance
And now I'm back at where I started
If I had it all, I would've parted
But the past month has left me empty-hearted

I'm stuck
I am stuck and with no luck

I am an unwelcome guest
It is written across my chest